Grandparents and grandchildren: a special relationship

As of 25.08.2025

Grandparents are something wonderful, which is why, in the best case, you have two of each. They possess the calm and composure of great life wisdom and the practical experience of having accompanied at least one child from infancy to adulthood. For parents, they are a blessing because they are often there to help with words and deeds. And for the grandchild, Grandma and Grandpa are often a mixture of an oasis of calm and a land of plenty. Grandparents frequently find a very special connection to their grandchildren. This is not sorcery, but the result of years of practical experience.

A case for Grandma: Soothing the grandchild

During a flight from Hamburg to Dubai, I observed a petite Asian grandmother as she quickly and easily soothed her crying grandchild.

Mid-flight, the infant in her arms suddenly began to cry inconsolably. After a few piercing screams, the sprightly old lady stood up, took her desperate traveling companion in her arms, and began a whole symphony of actions: she snuggled the little girl's belly against her shoulder, made a continuous "shhhhh" in her ear, rhythmically patted her bottom, and simultaneously swayed her upper body up and down and back and forth, from side to side – like a snake winding its way up a hill. In less than a minute, her little bundle had fallen asleep.

One might well assume that someone who can soothe babies so well simply has a gift for it, but that is not quite true. Even if it may seem almost magical how this old lady calmed her grandchild in no time, this art is based on long experience and practice. In fact, she applied and confirmed – instinctively or not – sound scientific findings.

The 4th trimester: Why babies aren't ready yet

Many tricks and techniques that grandparents have acquired over time are basically based on a very simple and natural fact: our babies are born 3 months too early! At the time of birth, they are still very immature. Baby horses, by comparison, can walk immediately, even on the first day of their lives. Our newborns, on the other hand, need help – even just to burp.

The fact that birth occurs technically too early is a compromise of nature. The baby is born at a time when its body system can already survive outside the womb. However, if the pregnancy lasted even longer to allow the child to fully mature, the child's head would become too large for the birth canal. The final stage of pregnancy therefore takes place, in a sense, outside the womb. Accordingly, the first three months of a baby's life are, so to speak, the fourth trimester of the fetal stage. To create the optimal conditions, our task as adults is to mimic the womb as best as we can.

What is it like in the womb?

Especially in the final weeks before birth, the womb is an extremely cramped living space. It offers hardly any room to move arms and legs. Another feature is that the child is practically constantly rocked by the mother's movements. But perhaps most surprising is that it is very loud in the womb. In fact, according to studies, it is louder inside the mother's belly than a vacuum cleaner!

In addition, it is warm thanks to the mother's body temperature, and the child is supplied with everything it needs to live via the umbilical cord, while it simultaneously removes harmful substances from its body.

After birth: The big adjustment shock

After birth, the child can already breathe, drink, and digest and excrete the food consumed on its own. However, it lacks the closeness, the warmth, the constant movements, and even the noise. It expresses this discomfort in the only way it can: by crying.

This presents many young parents with a real test of nerves because they do not know how to soothe their child effectively and quickly. This is where the grandparents come in, who have thoroughly acquired all these skills. Parents also instinctively cuddle and rock their little crying offspring and already do many things right. Grandparents, like the grandma described at the beginning, have achieved true mastery in this. They rock the children in close physical contact according to all the rules of the art and in exactly the right rhythm. And at the same time, they provide a familiar background noise, thanks to which the little ones quickly sink into the realm of dreams.

5 proven grandparent tricks for soothing babies

Even if they might not be familiar with the term "4th trimester," grandparents usually know exactly how to comfort a crying child and rock them to sleep. In doing so, they instinctively use techniques that, in a way, simulate the conditions in the womb. And in this familiar environment, it is easier for the baby to relax.

The five most important grandparent tricks are:

1. Swaddling – The arms are held tightly so that they lie close to the body. This gives the child back the familiar tightness of the womb and has a calming effect. There are also specific wrapping techniques for this.
2. Side or stomach position – The child calms down quickly in the side or stomach position. However, this position is still unsuitable and even dangerous for sleeping at this age.
3. Loud shushing sound – Shushing sounds simulate the background noise in the womb and create an environment in which the little one can calm down quickly.
4. Rocking (or small swinging movements) – also simulate the womb and have always been a proven means of rocking the child to sleep.
5. Sucking – Many children suck on their thumb to calm themselves down. However, a pacifier is even better because it is softer and therefore poses a lower risk of tooth misalignment. It is also easier to wean them off it later.

Important note: For most babies, it is enough to use one or two of these tricks. For particularly restless children, however, all five sometimes have to be deployed at once. All of these tricks also have a positive side effect: they are particularly conducive to bonding. So it is no wonder that the relationship between grandchildren and grandparents is often a very special one from the very first moment.

swing2sleep automatic baby hammock: grandparent tricks automated

Grandparents are called grandparents because they are grand, and our automatic baby hammock can never be a full replacement for Grandma and Grandpa. However, it can be a valuable help and relief for both parents and grandparents, as it also has a few grandparent tricks up its sleeve to quickly calm a crying child. Thanks to the cozy snugness in our baby hammock, the child can relax quickly, and the swinging movements gently rock them to sleep.

Frequently asked questions about grandparent tricks and baby soothing

Why do grandparents often calm babies faster than parents?

Grandparents have years of experience and the necessary calm that comes from less stress and uncertainty. They instinctively apply proven techniques that mimic the womb environment. In addition, they are usually more relaxed, which is transferred to the baby.

What exactly is the 4th trimester and why is it so important?

The 4th trimester describes the first 3 months of a baby's life as a transition period. Newborns are not yet fully developed neurologically and require conditions similar to the womb: tightness, warmth, constant movement, and even noise. Understanding this concept helps in applying the right soothing techniques.

Which of the 5 grandparent tricks works the fastest?

That depends on the individual baby, but often the combination of swaddling and rhythmic swinging movements is most effective. Many grandparents also combine this with the "shhhh" sound, as it mimics the noise level in the womb. For most babies, 1-2 techniques at the same time are sufficient.

From what age can these soothing techniques be used?

These techniques are particularly effective in the first 3-4 months of life (the 4th trimester). They can be used safely from birth. Important: The side or stomach position may only be used for soothing – for sleeping, the baby must always be placed on their back (SIDS prevention).

Can young parents also learn these grandparent tricks?

Absolutely! These techniques are based on scientific findings about the needs of newborns. With a little practice and patience, even inexperienced parents can use these methods successfully. The main advantage of grandparents often lies in their peace and serenity, which is transferred to the baby.