A particularly dramatic characteristic of high-need babies is that they often cannot be calmed down. No matter what you do, nothing works. At some point, you wonder if it's perhaps your fault. Feelings of guilt and self-doubt spread and cause even more stress for the parents. We can give the all-clear here at least: It is not your fault.
High-need babies: Little sensitive souls::/H2
High-need babies are usually more sensitive than other children. They find it harder to adapt to the still large, unknown, and loud world. Experts speak of regulation disorders here.
When a child is affected by a regulation disorder, they cannot calm themselves down. But the parents don't succeed either. Not because they are incapable, but because the child does not succeed in letting go and relaxing. The increasingly exhausted parents would probably do anything to make the crying finally stop, which sometimes drags on for hours, days, if not weeks.
Children are different::/H3
Children are little personalities from birth. Some seem to be happy most of the time on their own, while others eye their surroundings skeptically and still others appear melancholy from day one. Resilience, i.e., resistance to external stimuli, is also developed to different degrees. Parents have no influence on this. So there is nothing you could be guilty of.
Furthermore, the emotional stress for high-need babies is often lower than it appears from the outside. Although it looks to us as if the little ones are suffering mental agony, for them it is simply an outlet for coping with stress – albeit an extremely loud one.
The good news: Usually, the crying subsides on its own after a few months.
Calming the child – but how?::/H3
In their desperation, parents of high-need babies try everything possible to calm the baby: singing, rocking, swaddling, and bouncing with the child on the exercise ball as much as they can. Often, however, the effect only lasts for a short time. Parents have particularly good cards, however, with a swing2sleep. Through the gentle up and down movements and the cozy closeness, an environment is created in which your baby feels safe and secure – almost like in mama's belly. For most children, this automatic baby hammock works wonders, even in seemingly hopeless cases.
However, you should also give your baby the opportunity to calm themselves down every now and then. So you don't have to intervene immediately at every little whine from the child. Sometimes this whining or light crying also resolves itself. But when your little screamer really gets going, nothing helps. Then you have to take care of them, because letting the child cry causes them a traumatic experience and can have a devastating effect on their future path in life.
Parents must also relax::/H3
With a high-need baby, there is a state of emergency. Not only does the child need relaxation, but you as parents also have to somehow manage to take a breath and gain strength. There are some tricks and techniques for this. We have put together a selection of them for you here. This makes it easier for you to stay calm when your little one screams at the top of their lungs again. Taking care of yourself only makes you even better parents.
Conclusion::/H3
Don't let anyone talk you into thinking that you are bad parents because you don't succeed in calming your little one, and certainly not that this condition is your fault – that is simply nonsense.
A swing2sleep has already brought sleep and peace to so many parents. Maybe to you too?
Sincerely,
Kerstin & Maik
